September Baby

rbt
I promise I don’t normally wear shoes at home.

September 🍂 I’m so ready for sweaters, hot drinks and cosy evenings ☕ as September is my birthday month, in true Virgo fashion I reflected on my year and made some lists (obviously) 📝 I’m not going to share them this time, hopefully I’ll be sharing the results soon. But I do want to share some lessons I have learnt, read and resonated with this year. Here’s a reminder to myself, and a… list, for you. We all love lists, right? Right… ? 🤓

  • Criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt occur during moments of lost compassion (toward yourself and others.)
  • Whether or not it matters in five minutes or five years, feel what you feel.
  • There’s no point in asking yourself, “What can I do to relax?” Instead, ask, “What do I need to feel safe?”
  • Only those who care about you can hear you when you’re quiet.
  • If they don’t chase you when you walk away, keep walking.
  • No level of exercise, sleep or eating right can create the wellness and vitality of secure attachment and emotional belonging.
  • The point of “doing nothing” is to clear up our inner lives. There is so much that happens to us every day, so many excitements, regrets, suggestions and emotions that we need to spend time processing them.
  • Popular self-love culture stigmatises our desire for human connection and intimacy, but our idolisation of independence is at the expense of our need for interdependence.
  • If I text “haha nice” it means I’d rather be dead than continue this conversation.
  • No one sees what you see, even if they see it too.
  • Walk away from anything that makes you disrespect yourself.
  • Rigidity is often a sign that there is a wound underneath. Notice where you are closed off to change. Notice where it’s your way or the highway. Notice where you are inflexible. Rigidity often feels like a holy righteousness but when we dig deeper we often find a fear that if we bend, we will break.
  • You have a right to know what someone’s intentions are with you. Anything that may affect your mind, body and spirit, ask.
  • It’s been said that when INTJs get hurt or angry, “they don’t hate you, they nothing you.” I am somewhere between ENTJ and INTJ, but I am this.
  • Of the many hats you wear as an artist, motivator-in-chief may be the one you need the most.
  • What eats away at you is how you end up biting others.
  • If the intensity of your reaction is in no way congruent with what is happening, it’s likely that your reaction is tied to a past trauma.
  • If you have a bad day, just watch 5 hours of television and absorb the personalities and problems of characters and you’ll be fine. (Do not take this advice from me.)
  • Nobody’s judgement can hurt you more than the consequences of not living your truth. Respectfully do not care.
  • Everyone who is unhappy naturally blames it on the facade of compatibility. They fail to realise and comprehend that a successful relationship does not hinge its posterity on how alike you are, instead it hangs on by the sheer will power and want to stay in it.
  • Good decisions, creativity and strong problem solving skills come from a calm mind.
  • Remembering who you are is how you neutralise triggers.
  • When I can’t feel the meaning in something, I switch off. I need meaning to feel turned on and alive.
  • A woman’s power in any relationship is her absence. Provide it freely when they are not respecting you.
  • When you offer someone your focused attention and they don’t step forward to meet you, they are giving you some really valuable information, which is: they are just not your person. This information is not: you suck, you’re unworthy, you’re not lovable.
  • I love a “you ain’t going anywhere till we fix this” type of person.
  • Get honest with people about who you are, what you want and how you expect to be treated. Standards only scare off people not meant for you.
  • You have to create internal space first. There’s no point adding new habits, tools and tricks, if you’re emotionally and mentally back-logged.
  • You don’t deserve what you don’t respect.
  • When something is right for you, you’re going to know it because it will feel easy. It will seem effortless. It will just happen. Everything around you is telling you that you have to push, fight, claw and beg for your future, but the truth is that the most defining trait of everything that’s meant for us is that it is easy.
  • Empathy isn’t just something that happens to us, it’s also a choice we make: to pay attention, to extend ourselves, to be there.
  • I do not exist to be viewed, to be considered sexy, desirable, I am but a vessel for pasta.
  • Storm if you must, to find calm.
  • Shame shuts down our ability to process our emotions. Shame is an inhibitory emotion. That means that shame shows up as a way to shut us down from feeling something else. When we can identify the triggers for shame and connect with those shamed parts of us, then we can start to connect to the feelings we’ve blocked ourselves from feeling: usually anger or fear.
  • Change happens every time we meet ourselves with tenderness.
  • Nothing is missing. Look around you. Give it form.
  • Stay away from people who think you’re arguing every time you try to express yourself.
  • Relationships must be defined and intentional.
  • If you made your point, stop talking.
  • I am highly sensitive, empathetic and analytical. It’s my greatest gift in creating art and connecting with others, but when it’s turned up too loud it becomes my greatest weakness. Because that’s what our weaknesses are — our strengths, turned up too loud.
  • You know the truth by the way it feels.
  • As women we are highly intuitive and connected to ourselves. It’s a gift and a strength. We get to navigate through this world with spider senses of empathy and connection to ourselves and others. Our intuition is our greatest guide and medicine in navigating this life.
  • You deserve shelter from the storm, even if the storm is you.
  • Just because you’re winning a game doesn’t mean it’s a good game.
  • When they say they’re not ready for it, the “with you” is silent.
  • There are people who take the heart out of you, and there are people who put it back.
  • “Ok let me show less love” “Let me not care so much” I should never have to feel that way. My purest form is loving hard and caring hard and nurturing hard, those are not negatives.
  • You are not responsible for other people, but it’s still important to be responsible with them.
  • The best plan for the weekend is not to have one.
  • People can only take you as seriously as they take themselves.
  • While the pain is intense shift away from being an emotional processing detective. Instead, focus on self-soothing and healing. Insight and awareness can only get you so far in these moments. Over-processing and obsessing deepens the wound at a moment when all you really need is some love.
  • You have to meet people where they are, and sometimes you have to leave them there.
  • Whenever you catch yourself missing someone who left your life, remind yourself that them not being part of your present is a consistent choice they make every day. They wake up and decide to maintain the silence. They’re indifferent as to whether the space between you gets larger. That in itself is closure.
  • Triggers point you where you are not free.
  • One thing love is not is unsure.
  • If you avoid conflict to keep the peace you start a war inside yourself.
  • My seduction style is genuinely caring about your life and wanting you to improve and be happy.
  • We are here to enjoy ourselves. We are not employees of the universe. God is not tracking our vacation days. Play time doesn’t have to be earned. The universe does not require you to pay rent in the form of suffering in order to deserve relaxation.
  • Life is difficult. Relationships should make it easier. Brighter. More rewarding.
  • If it doesn’t open it’s not your door.
  • Saying “I love you” to someone new and really meaning it is asking that person for directions through the next part of your life.
  • If it was so easy to lose someone’s affection it’s probably not worth getting it back.
  • Unfriend, unmatch, uncousin, uncoworker, unfamily draining people real quick. Disconnect from anyone and anything that isn’t for you. Boundaries will keep you safe.
  • The unfed mind devours itself.
  • Over-giving is a way of trying to receive. Underneath this default setting of pleasing, giving and nurturing others is often an unmet need of wanting to receive the thing we are giving.
  • From “Come over” to “Come home” is a real relationship goal for me.
  • If you have to accept it, time will help you. If you have to change it, time will make it worse. That’s how you tell the difference.
  • Life is as kind as the people you fill it with.
  • Anger is very addictive. You want to feel angry when you’re suffering. It gives you adrenaline. It gets your endorphins going. It’s a release. It’s a substitute for what you’re missing.
  • It’s simple. If they love you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll constantly wonder if they do.
  • Discomfort is not a terminal condition.
  • Literature is humanity talking to itself.
  • Posting on your blog is like talking to your cat. You don’t know if they are listening, and you don’t know if they care, but for some reason, it still helps.
  • Pay attention to the signs. It is what it looks like.

🍂☕♥️

Everything and (way) more is curated here.

4 thoughts on “September Baby

  1. It looks like a mini thesis on Human emotions and life,beautifully put together!👍👍 You’re amazing at drawing precise observations, dear, Virgo amigo!👏 This comes from your Leo friend😉
    Hope you have a great day ahead and a wonderfully joyous Birthday month 🎂🎉🎁

    Liked by 1 person

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