Anca Dunavete

I’ve been noticing something about myself lately: the braver I try to be, the more I see how easily I shrink. How I play small. How I dim my own light, sometimes to make others feel more at ease, sometimes to make myself feel safer, often without even realising I’m doing it.

But I read somewhere something along these lines: when you do that, your bravest self gets confused. It doesn’t know what to do with someone who’s holding it back like that. And it can’t move through the fear when you’ve decided it’s better to stay hidden.

✦

I believe there’s a brave part of you that’s always waiting for you to choose it. Waiting for you to trust it. Waiting for you to step forward, even when it’s messy, awkward, uncomfortable, or downright terrifying – think applying for a job, sharing your art, or asking someone to grab a coffee.

And sure, even writing that list makes me cringe. Applying for a job – how humiliating, I think. Sharing my art – how look-at-me, I worry. Asking someone out – how very lonely I must seem, I project. But all the yeses I’ve ever got, they all came from doing these exact things. (And all the noes too, but who’s counting?)

More often than not, it’s worth it. Because you either get what you wanted… or you get nothing at all, which at least helps you stop obsessing. I don’t know about you, but nothing has ever hurt me more than a what if. Whatever it is, I’d rather know. What are you going to do with a fantasy, apart from writing a book, anyway?

Challenges, setbacks, moments of doubt – these aren’t punishments, even though they land like punches sometimes. Every time something stretches you, twists you, or throws you off balance, it’s a reminder that you are walking your path and inviting the world to meet you there. That’s so brave.

Whatever the world has to say in return only helps you anchor yourself better on that path, making it even more yours, filled only with the things and people willing to give you a full yes. And isn’t that what you want in the long run, anyway? Anything else comes packed with anxiety, second-guessing, maybes and almosts.

So the next time you feel small, try flipping the story in your head. See it not as a reflection of your worth, but as a sign that you’re part of something bigger, finding a safe spot to land. See it as your bravest self asking for more room to expand. And you’re supposed to expand. That’s what alive things do. Wanting more is honouring who you really are. You wouldn’t want it if it weren’t meant for you.

✦

Your bravest self is ready to show up. Let it stretch to the edges of what you think you can hold. You don’t even have to do anything monumental to embody it. Showing up usually looks like sending the email, writing the line, speaking the sentence, and simply letting yourself be seen.

I believe courage looks like putting one foot in front of the other, over and over again. It’s the bravest thing I’ve ever done, and it wasn’t big or dramatic at all. I just kept knocking on doors, curious to see who was home for me – and, in 2026, I invite you to do the same.

Anca x

PS: Read more posts like this one on Substack, where I write a weekly newsletter, Ancaffeinated. And, if you like it, why not subscribe? :)