Dear Diary, I am fucking terrified. There, I said it. Deep breath and would you look at that, it wasn't even that hard – and I sure feel better for it. But wait, I'm letting myself off too easily. That doesn't fix it, and I can't leave it any longer. Sweeping dirt under the carpet … Continue reading A Tool for Making Magic
“How odd, I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.” – David Foster Wallace It's been another year. Let me pull you gently now and take one good look. You are vibrant and gorgeous, and your mind is insanely cool. But you say, ‘I am trying to be you, but … Continue reading Taking Shelter
Change doesn’t come easily, and it definitely doesn’t come overnight; not substantial change, anyway. Getting tired of your own bullshit takes eating spoonfuls at every meal, until you can’t stand yourself any longer. But no one shows us how to change ourselves before we need it desperately, no one shows us how to match the … Continue reading Light Is the New Black
“You are so good. So good. You’re always feeling so much, and sometimes it feels like you’re gonna bust open from all the feeling, don’t it? People like you are the best in the world, but you sure do suffer for it.” – Silas House ☾ I write fiction because it feels less intrusive. We … Continue reading You Call That a Knife? This Is A Knife.
I want to believe in God, but I doubt that He’d believe in me if I were to make Him up again. I’ve been staring into space for so long now and not once have I had the feeling that we may get on good terms, even if I let Him exist again out of … Continue reading I Miss, Therefore I Am
from a work in progress Towns at rest, people going home, intermittent patches of glitter and dark everywhere, all the little things that make life up were dancing restlessly through her lashes. Head leaning against the car window, Kara felt wide awake with fear and curiosity. Houses rolled past her like a tracking shot in … Continue reading Getting Ready to Meet the Devil
When you fictionalise your life you have to make up some of the words yourself – the way they taste, the way they sound in the air – and twist them until no one can tell what hell you dragged them out of. When they ask, you tell them you read a lot as a kid, then you … Continue reading How to Be Your Own Story