Soulshine

In my world, I let you see right through me. I listen to my truth on every radio, I decorate the walls with beautiful paintings of my most precious memories, and have large windows in every room. From here, you can see right into me. Those trees over there? I have so many stories about those who planted them. And the pool? I made it myself, out of all the times I wanted to drown in. The mountains at the back? Ah, that one’s for later, much later. But if you stay, I’ll stay with you and I’ll tell you everything. It will just take a little longer. Are you ready?

Here, I meet you in smoky bars. You wear a brown hat and the kind of clothes I wish men wore more often. There’s a cigarette hanging out of your mouth, one that you take out every time you smile at me. You look kind and gentle and tell me story after story, and teach me how to love after storm. I get us more drinks and laugh at all your jokes, because you’re exciting, and mad, and pure – and I can always recognise others like me, or the me that I was going to be outside of this place. Listening to you is like seeing Heaven burst into flames; giving me the thrill of a lifetime in the safest of places. Please, don’t stop. What about that time when…

Ah, I nearly forgot. I can’t stay long. Everything here is amplified to match the intensity of the world I desire, and the flames get too big after some time. I’ll come find you again next time, and we’ll pick up where we left off. I do hate it when it’s closing time in my world, but I’d rather leave at the end of every show than never make it in. For every now and then, as the curtains close behind me, a little heat makes it out into real life with me, and keeps me warm for a while as I move through the world. And that, alone, is worth sneaking into utopia, time and time again.