‘Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.’ — Chuck Klosterman
It’s 2015 in a couple of days, and I feel that I must put on virtual paper some of the things I’ve learned this year. I hope they speak to you too, because these lesson aren’t for me to keep. I write not only for my peace of mind, but also for those just like me, for those utterly different. I write because it’s the only real voice I’ve found to have so far. The others are often silenced by the mundane, the worried, the loud and the obnoxious, the in-the-way, the not-now, the if-only. Writing is crystal clear, and reading is freeing; and connecting — connecting is bliss. Those just like me make me happy, and those utterly different make me feel alive. I love humans the most when I take them in through their writing, because I understand the process behind. I know just how much of myself I show in my stories, and can only get excited at the prospect of reading theirs for the same reason. Writing, even when edited, is raw when life is too often fine-tuned. Of course, there are always the wild moments, but they are rare and precious and slip easily through one’s fingers. Either way, it’s all in the rawness for me. In words, life and everything in between, I crave it. Therefore…
1. Creativity is the greatest form of rebellion
‘I started making jewellery as a side project, and it began to take on a life of its own…’
‘I want to involve readers into better journalism…’
‘… if we make a promise to feed ourselves emotionally, creatively, intellectually, and spiritually each day, we begin to trust and respect ourselves.’
I found these quotes in Schön! during my first days at their offices, in The Guardian, and on BrainPickings’ amazingly inspiring website. They speak to me of the importance of creativity in one’s life, but remind me that there’s more to it than having a rich, vivid imagination. Dreamers must be doers too. We need genuine passion, motivation and discipline, because creativity by itself gets tired after doing the first trick.
I myself am a very creative person, yet sometimes weeks go by and I don’t write a single thing; and I wonder, am I still allowed to call myself a writer then? Because I like to think of myself as one, if not for bigger reason than at least for being one who writes. But if I don’t, then what right do I have to call myself a creative?
If you keep its flames burning however, creativity is life’s greatest fuel. It gets you out of bed in the morning, it dresses you up as the person you want to be, it shines through you while you eat your granola bar, and it works with you, at you, as you.
I believe there is no stronger force in the universe than the creative force. Ah, but love — I know, I know. Like you, I too love love. I’m clearly not a writer But love comes in many ways, and if it comes as weak, lazy love it often dies out, extinguished by the almighty force of boredom. Love has to be strong to be worth it.
Boredom is rage spread thin. Creativity is rage sprinkled with pixie dust. Now go do, so that you can be.
‘Being an artist is not just about what happens when you are in the studio. The way you live, the people you choose to love and the way you love them, the way you vote, the words that come out of your mouth, the size of the world you make for yourselves, your ability to influence the things you believe in, your obsessions, your failures — all of these components will also become the raw material for the art you make.’ — Teresita Fernández
2. Nothing is worth it if you aren’t happy
I moved to London this year, at the end of summer. I borrowed money from friends, family and the people I had done cleaning jobs for during university, and spent them all on moving into a cramped house in the suburbs of London. It was a reckless, impulsive and ultimately very dumb thing to do.
I ran out of money by the second month and couldn’t work because I was focused on doing internships, so that I’d get my dream job and start living the good London life. It’s been about 5 months of gaining experience now, and I have many questions to ask my summer self, What were you thinking? perhaps being the main one.
Was it worth it? Time will tell, I suppose. Maybe the new state of my CV will impress the guys at Penguin and they’ll let me be an editor by March. But would I do it again? Probably not. I wasn’t happy, and I’m still struggling to claim my happiness back from the claws of my new shoulda-been-fabulous life. And would I carry on if I had to do it some more in 2015? Definitely not.
Lesson learned: I might not be a special cookie after all, but I’d trade that for happiness any day. I think parents make a big mistake letting their children feel like the chosen ones. There is nothing wrong with feeling young and while and free from the pressure every once in a while. This is hard to remember in your fifth month on unpaid work in Europe’s most expensive city, which you’re doing because you too are special and you’ll show ’em that.
You don’t need to be the brightest light in the darkest night, you need to be happy; and if you still want to be that, at least take it from there. Don’t rush into things that are clearly way out of your reach. Go up gradually, take space, then take what is yours. But don’t rush all the way up because nothing there is yours yet and you’ll just be sent downstairs again. There’s no elevator either, fyi. Tough luck if you’re in a hurry — you’ve been warned.
3. The only real changes are identity-based changes
Say you want to be a rich entrepreneur, or a fitness freak, or a great person overall. These are things we all want to be yet few of us become, because we believe them to be outside our comfort zones and there’s a very long way to them and oh look a cookie. Hint: you might be on the dark side if you find cookies this easily.
Great things require work, luck and a little support from our families, friends and pets at the end of the day. But they require a change of mindset too. If you want to be X, you can’t just do Y and Z and expect the magic to happen. It won’t. You’re not X, you’re just you trying to keep up with doing some cool things. Whatever you want to be, you can’t start with the actions straight away or you will struggle, complain and fail unless you’re very stubborn and determined. If you’re like most of us, maybe start by changing your mindset first and see how that goes.
If I want to start being a fitness freak, going to the gym 8 times / week perhaps isn’t the wisest first thing to change about my life. But if I change my values (into new ones such as health, exercise and well-being — after all, if you don’t believe in these things than why would you even want to start?), my attitude (I smile while I run to the bus stop!?), my daily habits (I <3 smoothies) and then my actions (I join the gym), I’m not going to be a lazy bum in temporary disguise anymore. I think, feel, and be a girl who loves fitness, and that will be one of the many definitions people will give me. It’s cool though, I’d like to be known for this.
4. Strength and warmth make the world go round
Strength gets things done. As a personal quality, strength is a measure of how much a person can impose their will on our world. People who project it command our attention, because we know they can use their strength to reshape things that affect us all.
Warmth is the sense of belonging and feeling cared for. It is what people feel when they recognise they share interests and concerns, the sense of being on the same team. If strength is about whether someone can carry out their intentions, warmth is about whether you will be happy with them.
We respect strong people and like warm ones, and therefore, need to learn to be both. It all sounds very obvious, but some of us like to reflect on such things some more. If you’d like to read about it, Little, Brown published Compelling People and they’ve done us all a big, big favour.
5. I love working in publishing
On this note, my time at Little, Brown, winner of the Publisher of the Year Award, has been fantastic. I worked across their marketing and editorial departments before flying home for Christmas, and not only do they have the coolest office but they’re all wonderful, wonderful people. I learned what life is like behind a big publishing house’s doors and I loved it, which has only made me even keener on getting a job in a similar place when I’m back in London.
By the way, this is what you walk out the door with if you do a publishing internship. The book on my bed, I must mention, hasn’t been published by Little, Brown, but HarperCollins. That too I got after a work placement and they are also very lovely.
What about you? What have you learned? What do you want to share? ☻
Something on your mind?